Key Takeaway
Working out a written agreement with the other parent helps you and your kids know what to expect and can reduce conflict in the long term.
If you don’t you put the agreement at risk of being challenged in court. See Financial Disclosure for more information.
Before you sign your agreement, even if you write it yourself, it is essential to get independent legal advice from a professional that does not represent the other parent. This is to make sure that:
- Your agreement is legal (remember you cannot agree not to give/receive child support)
- You understand your rights and responsibilities
- You are not being pressured into accepting an agreement that is overly disadvantageous to you
- Once an agreement is signed you can file it with the court and have it enforced like a court order.
Remember
If you or the other parent is thinking of moving away, you should speak to a lawyer to see how the law applies. Parents moving with or without the child may need to give notice to the other parent or other people important to the child.
Get Help
Go to Getting Help for a list of legal help and information organizations in your area.
Most couples can resolve disagreements without court. But sometimes court is necessary, especially for urgent or safety matters. Court can worsen conflicts and be costly, so it's best to avoid if possible. However, if there's a power imbalance or danger of violence, court may be safest.
Remember, court doesn't have to be all or nothing. Many issues can be resolved before trial through mediation or conferences. Get legal advice, even if you can't afford representation. Look into legal aid for free help if needed.
Parenting agreements need to adapt to the changing needs of the children and family. Be prepared to rework it over the years as your kids grow up. A plan that worked when the kids were babies probably won’t work when they are teens.
Agreements and orders can usually be changed when both parents agree to the changes. If one parent does not agree, you will have to ask a judge to make the change.
Learn More
Try the Canadian Judicial Council Family Law Handbook for information on representing yourself in court.
Safety
Sometimes court is necessary in cases with a history of violence or serious power imbalances between parents. If that is your case, you should get help and legal advice.
Wellness
Think about who in your support network you can lean on for support during this time whether it's family, friends or professionals. See Finding Your Support Network.